Those are good points, but it's also really calculated points. I suppose
you'll think me weak minded for being an idealist. I wanted love a long
time ago. In my late teens, early twenties. And then I realized women
were calculating and what I wanted was somewhat of a fairy tale. There's
always catches and red flags and things to consider. I just wanted
love, I wanted someone to love me that I was attracted to. And I wasn't
attracted to the hottest girl around either. I had crushes that other
men might consider average, or pretty, but not super hot. I liked what I
liked, until I realized that girls didn't just want that with me. They
wanted some other type of guy that I wasn't. More popular, more bad boy,
more money, more social, etc. etc. I wasn't a slouch. I was in shape
(still am), always had friends, used to be on the varsity team. But
there was just always some reason why I would get the cold shoulder.
Then I realized it was because I was too shy. I wasn't talkitive enough.
Girls took that for weakness. They considered me a beta because of
that. I'm not ultimately, but I just used to get nervous around them.
And they just ate me up and spit me out. But ultimately I realized they
didn't want me, because I wanted them! So I learned how to not be that
way. I learned how to project an image of alpha and bad boy and guess
what, it worked like a charm. Girls wanted me. I made them think that I
was worthy, that other girls wanted me, and I had other options besides
just them. And that worked. After I achieved that in their minds I could
do everything with them sexually because I learned how to be that
certain way. When they realized other girls wanted me they just tried
anything they could do to impress me, including sex. So I learned how to
play hard to get. I made myself seem like the type of guy that they
should chase, I made myself winnable, as opposed to so easy and ready
for love with them. I made them try to EARN me. And that made all the
difference.
But also at the same time I lost literally all my
respect for them as a gender. Because I realized how cold and
calculating they were. And also how stupid and silly they were. I was a
guy with a respectable character, who wanted to love just ONE of them
and do it right. But they didn't care at all about that. They would go
and chase absolute losers because those guys were "confident." It didn't
matter if I wanted to love them. They wanted the type of guy that
wasn't good for them. They construed my kindness and sweetness towards
them for weakness. And they could turn on a dime because society let
them have that kind of power. Not even just society, but something was
in them that was calculating and it wasn't about me, it was about them.
They were self serving and the story book type of love I thought was
real, wasn't. It was a farce. Women were a different way than Hollywood
and the books made them out to be. They weren't this pure, kind, loving
group of humans. They were nasty, cold, slutty, and calculating. But
they could successfully give off the image that they were a certain way.
So
I realized that all men must go through this. And textbook love per se
is non existent. So in a sense we all settle. I realized that my young
love was never going to happen and I was glad it didn't happen. I was
glad I got to see both sides. I became sick with a certain illness in my
early twenties, after the popularity of playing varsity died down and
women stopped swooning over me like they used to, I realized how
materialistic they were. How fake they were. How if I had a good job and
then I lost that job they would leave me. How outward they were. How
they put their hope in the success and abilities of men rather than the
hearts of men. And I just forever got my eyes opened to their real
selves.
